PHENOMENAL AND THE TREASURE OF TUTANKHAMEN
                                                                          The plot concerns the tour of King Tut's mask that's on display at a local museum. It seems that bad guy extraordinaire Gordon Mitchell wants it, along with some other people, and it up to super duper crime fighter Phenomenal to stop them.  So what follows is the this:  An overly complicated heist that goes nowhere because they are all undercover cops anyway.  Morons that think they have the original King Tut's mask and are later told it is a forgery.  And every once in a while, there is a scene with Phenomenal whacking people.

Now this was a movie I knew almost nothing about.  I saw a boxed set intitled the "Grindhouse Experience vol. 2" and noticed that in the twenty films it offered, Three Supermen Against Godfather was there.  Being a big fan of the original Three Fatastic Supermen movie, I wanted to check out more in the series.  Plus there was this other film, Phenomenal And The Treasure Of Tutankhamen, which I had heard a little bit about.  Plus Eighteen other movies.  What could I lose?  Oh, about 20 bucks and 40 hours that I will never get back.  By the way, What was it with all those DVD companies coming out with grindhouse DVDs collections, and not knowing what grindhouse features are?  I don't think family pictures or PG comedies played on 42nd street.  Just saying.

Now I'm not going to rip Three Supermen Against The Godfather right now.  I need time for healing to start, but I will instead focus on good old Phenomenal.  Now, my first problem with the movie is that though it starts off with a nice little fight scene at the beginning, it then it slows down to a crawl to establish a security system that is never ever put to use.  That's right, they set up a security system that is supposedly impregnable and they don't even protect the treasure with it.  It's protecting a forgery.  I think the real mask is hidden in the curator's closet or something.  So guess what, it gets stolen out of the closet.   The movie makes a big deal about the identity of the super crimefighter, Phenomenal, and it's up to the audience to guess his secret identity.  So let's see if you can figure out with these list of suspects, who the hero really is:

Could it be gangster Gordon Mitchell who is seeking to steal King Tut's mask?
Or could it be that lovely Lacretia Love who is just wondering around interviewing people?
Could it be that decrepit  professor that wheels around in a wheelchair?  Or his gay assistant?
Or could it be the police Inspector?  But would he ever put a mask over that wonderful mustache of his?
Maybe it's Count Norton?  He is very rich and he does have a butler named Alfred.  And he is portrayed by the producer of the film.  I wonder if that Norton guy will end up with the woman at the end?
Well, I don't spoil it for you folks.  So I hope you can stand the wait.

The film is the directorial debut of Ruggero Deodato, and I can't believe he got work after this.  Actually one of his movies almost got him put in jail.  Somebody found the cannibal Holocaust and gore so convincing, Deodato was brought to trial.  So he had to prove that no human being was harmed during the making of his movie.  It was just the animals.  Now I have to admit for first-time director's action scenes aren't that bad, it's just that the rest of the movie is so darn boring.

As for the hero himself.  He is played by Mauro Parenti and he has all the charisma and personality of an assistant high school Principal.  He looks like he asked his mom to make him a costume of Diabolik like the one John Philip Law had in that movie.   It shouldn't be that hard since Carlo Rambaldi did the original, you know the guy that made E.T..  So she gives him black khakis, black turtleneck and puts a stocking over his head, then says  "There you go son.  Happy Halloween!"  Oh well I'm tired of talking about it. Now that I've written this review, I'm kind of embarrassed that I paid to see this. I would only recommend it if you have insomnia or want to get rid of someone in your apartment/household.   Otherwise I'd avoid it.

This movie is pretty bad, just in case I didn't state my case bluntly enough.

SUPERARGO VS. DIABOLICUS

SUPERARGO VS. DIABOLICUS stars Ken Wood as our titled hero and Gerard Tichy as our titled villain respectively. As you can tell by the title, these two don't get along very well, like Godzilla and Megalon. The film is a cash-in on all those wrestling movies made in Mexico starring Santo and his buddies. But, it did come out around the same time the Batman TV series aired. So it's more interested in ripping off Santo and James Bond than the caped crusader.

The film begins in a bar, with a bunch of drunks about to watch a wrestling match on TV. They start arguing about why Superago wears a mask. whether or not the fight is fixed, and if this Superargo has super powers. Now the fight begins and we meet Superargo's opponent, El Tigre. He is kind of a generic wrestler with a Mohawk, and they begin to fight in the filthiest wrestling ring in the history of man. I think a homeless guy lives there on weekdays. Things seem to go pretty well for the super one until he throws Tigerman out of the ring. It seems the tiger guy broke his fall by using his head, literally. OK, I guess that joke is pretty old, but the point is tiger dude is dead and Superargo feels responsible. Then the titles start, showing the inner turmoil in his messed-up psyche. Getting back to the story, we find the masked hero drinking with his girlfriend at his apartment. Which would be a normal scene, except that he is in full costume. He starts confessing his guilt for using his super strength in the ring. Then he complains that he always has to wears his mask. It's never explained why he always has to wear a mask. The guy doesn't have secret identity? I think he should get one. He could make friends, take his girlfriend out to dinner, and smell better. Also, his girlfriend might find it more comfortable drinking with him at home alone. The girlfriend suggests he retire and ask his old war buddy for a job. It's fortunate that his buddy is head of the secret service; he could have been an assistant manager at Denny's.

Luckily there is a job opening, and a guy who runs around in red spandex is perfect for it. Seems there is wacko, named Diabolicus, who likes to go on killing sprees to steal uranium and mercury. His buddy says to go find his secret base and kill everybody. So Superargo goes off on a boat with a bunch of spy gadgets and finds an island with a secret base on it. He sneaks around awhile before getting caught. He then gets tortured a bit, but luckily the villain gives great exposition. It seems Diabolicus just wants to manufacture gold and flood the economy with his B.S. gold. Superargo doesn't like this idea, so he does a bunch of things to thwart the guy's plans: Like escaping, punching a bunch of people, and mowing down the hired help with machine guns. It work out pretty well for him.

SUPERARGO VS. DIABOLICUS is a pretty wild movie. One of the most amazing things about it is how seriously it takes itself. There is almost no humor in it. But, the director keeps things at a fast pace, with really tight editing. The movie feels like it has the budget it needs to tell the story. Not a very high budget mind you, but just enough to get the job done. Plus I like his jazzy theme song.